Eric Holder’s testimony today reminds me of fishing for striped bass

08 Dec

One of the best ways to catch a big striper (OK, rock fish for you Chessie types) is with a big, juicy live eel.  Getting a big, juicy live eel on a fish hook can be a bit of a challenge and it takes a while to get the knack of it.

Eels are slimy and next to impossible to grasp with the bare hand.  Eels are fast.  Eels are cagey and do not much like having a sharp hook inserted under the jaw and plunged through that jaw and out through an eye.  They’ll fight you every step of the way, will wrap around your wrist and if given a chance, will ball up into your fishing line and within seconds turn the whole rig into a useless piece of junk.

Congressman Lamar Smith of Texas tried to rig up for striped bass fishing today and Eric Holder was in no mood to become bait.  Holder was as slippery as any eel I’ve ever tried to employ and he did his best to wrap himself into the fishing line.

Holder’s last congressional testimony asserted that Elena Kagan never played any role in the Obamacare defense strategy when she was Solicitor General.  This was a eely secretion of slime that was being deployed to prevent her from the hue and cry of people rightly insisting that for her to sit on the Supreme Court decision about the constitutionality of Obamacare would be a conflict of interest and that she should recuse herself. 

Smith tried to get the eel to qualify a timeline, asserting that it would have made no sense for her to not perform her primary job in working as the President’s lead counsel during the formation of the arguments for defending it.

But the eel twisted, slimed, squirmed and wrapped its tail around Smith’s wrist, refusing to get on the hook.

But Smith fought back nobly and inquired about the documentation and personal testimony he’d requested from Justice, insisting that Holder either declare some sort of legal privilege or surrender to his request.

Lamar Smith had the eel in his grasp.  He had the hook in the other hand.  He struggled against the mighty eel, but in the end he hooked the bastard.  Now he can drop in his line and catch the big fish.  

As a man who can not only hook up eels and catch big stripers, I can do it from a kayak. 

I think Lamar can do it from an inner tube.  Nice job, Mr. Smith.


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