Obamamerica’s Top 10 Holiday To-Do List

11 Nov

While those ingrate, snotty UK students are protesting over losing their FREE benefits, the spectre of a Hard Candy Christmas hangs over America.  Choking out the smells of cinammon and spice, the autumn air, rancid and putrid, from our national debt-to-spending ratio which has pushed our overbloated government into the snow.  See our once-proud United States wiggling and jiggling like Ralphie’s little brother from a Christmas Story, unable to rise in our darkest hour.


In the long-term, we can’t linger on these depressing thoughts IF we are to someday rise again.  And in the short-term, the holiday season is only a few squares away on our 2010 refrigerator calendar, perhaps the LAST FREE promotional magnetic refrigerator calendar our bank or insurance agent will ever send us.

Those who know me, know I am a LIST guy.  I love marking things off lists.  Every year, I make a Christmas List, but in preparation for the 2010 nuclear winter, I’ve edited my traditional list.  Here now, my… 

TOP 10 Obamamerica Holiday To-Do List

10.   Seek and Engage Mail Order Bride to MOVE UP in status.

  9.   Get BIGGER clothesline for spring.

  8.   Call AT&T. Convert my landline to seventies style “party” line.

  7.   Knit Christmas sweater from discarded dryer sheets.

  6.   Instead of exchanging gifts, Draw for names within family.  Then don’t exchange gifts, just exchange NAMES for 2011. 

  5.   Check into Carnival Cruise Ship “Rainchecks” for stocking stuffers

  4.   Spray paint Halloween decorations RED & WHITE, apply cotton balls !

  3.   Serve Louis Rich Low-Fat Turkey sandwich meat for Thanksgiving dinner.

  2.   “Dear Santa: wanted new Conspiracy Theorist bathrobe.

and the #1 Item on my Christmas To-Do List

  1.    Sending everyone Facebook Farmville Gifts.

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Posted by on November 11, 2010 in Entitlements, Obama


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